As my beloved grandmother used to say "This to shall pass..." even when it feels like it won't. My flu is gone, mom is home, and my niece chose to come home instead of checking into a hospital. So we go on from here... Thanks for the words of support!

My son informed me that the Soldier Package Project is not 28 but 38. "Hey, mom I talked to my Corporal and he said there are 38 in my platoon." So, after a moment of panic and did he really say 38? I picked myself up off the ground and have gotten back to work.

Yesterday, I went to Target and bought 20 bottles of Gillette Body Wash 8oz. The price is 1.79 and I had a coupon, $4 off 2 bottles, making it free. I now have the body wash up to 37. Two soldiers in the platoon are women so I have Olay Body Ribbons for them. Meaning I have one extra Gillette which my nephew in college will snatch up quickly.

Something startling happened through all this. Well to me it was startling. This started out as my project (a way to deal with him deploying for the 1st time and to help at the same time) and as my project I get to plan it and control it. I am also paying for it, so I say where things are bought and when and for how much. As I was speaking to my Aunt about my mom, her sister, she asked about DS and I caught her up and mentioned the project. She immediately offered to send me a check for $25 and said she was sure others would contribute. I quickly said No, Thanks I've got it covered. She left the offer open ended and I thanked her. Now I am wondering/considering my answer. Is it right to deny the soldiers more needed items because, of what? My need for control, is it getting the credit for being wonderful, something else, why? I am going to think hard on this. How I spend money is tied to beliefs, emotions, values. What does this say about me and am I going to change? Probably... It definitely shows a lack of flexibility.